Okay. Deep breaths Chris. The world hasn’t ended. It’s just that the struggle to motivate myself and be productive continues.
The opportunities are there.
A significant amount of the knowledge is there.
The “dreams” are there.
However, the action is still missing. There is no logical reason for it. But apparently, the illogical reasons still remain strong. 🙂
I’m definitely still appreciating my struggles.
It took me years to get into the dark state that I’m working on evolving out of, so I simply can’t and won’t beat myself up about it taking a significant amount of time to work out of it.
Giving up is simply not an option for several reasons:
- I’m just not a giver upper. 🙂
- Even if I were inclined to give up, it’s hard to give up when you haven’t truly even tried yet. Thinking about and talking about trying are not the same as trying.
- Based on what I’ve seen and experienced, the path I’m pursuing is the most viable path for me to get ahead. Unless I stumble into some really unique company in the traditional job world, there really isn’t anything for me there.
- Pride. For years I’ve been threatening to make this work. My pride just won’t let me “give up” and think myself a fool for dreaming all these years and never really doing.
My game plan and the sites I’m “working” on remain intact, but the motivation to enact that plan has continued to elude me. It’s the same old song and dance.
As always, it’s another new day and another new opportunity. No matter what you are trying to do, don’t give up or give in until you’ve put in real effort and exhausted all ideas to make it happen.
When I finally do win this stalemate with my brain, there may not be nearly as much emphasis on my postings here. As long as I’m doing something productive elsewhere, I’ll be able to justify neglecting this site. 😉
However, I have the sneaking suspicion that once I am creating content on my other sites and finally starting to experience real success, I’ll “magically” find more time and motivation to post here as well. I sooooo look forward to testing that theory. It can’t happen soon enough.
I continue to believe that one day in the not too distant future, I’ll be looking back on all of these relatively empty posts and laugh at how long it took me to overcome myself. The length and difficulty of this struggle is really confounding, irritating, frustrating, embarrassing, and maddening at times.
Even though I do find myself feeling a tad humiliated putting these posts and thoughts out there, I’ll continue to do so for my benefit and the benefit of the very few who happen to stumble upon them now and hopefully the many that stumble upon them in the near future when I have finally overcome the invisible obstacles I have consistently put in my own path.
If you are struggling, at least you can rest assured that you are not alone.
If you have conquered your shortcomings, damn you….and congratulations. 🙂
Feel free to share your struggles and successes in the comments below.
Have a great day.